Deborah Armstrong

It’s Been A Year

Deborah's Diary

One year ago today we lost Bryan. I remember the heartache, the tremendous sense of loss, the incredulity of someone so young dying so tragically. We all handled the news of his death in our own way. Some of us carried on, keeping our grief hidden while others cried openly, gladly accepting comforting hugs from friends and strangers.

Today, we still miss him but the heartache has dulled. It’s hard to believe he’s gone and we won’t see him again. In the back of our minds we tell ourselves that he’s still away at college or he’s moved far away. We’re sure we’ll see him soon. And we do see him and we do hear from him. I see a young man in a crowd and he reminds me of Bryan. I hear a laugh or see a silly commercial on television and I think of Bryan. We get together as a family and someone says, “Remember when Bryan…?” Then the stories flow freely and sometimes the tears. But it’s all good. Good memories. Good tears. Good feelings that we were blessed to have had him in our lives – as a son, nephew, grandson, brother, cousin or friend.

Today I  sit in my office and I cry for him. I cry for his loss and for ours. What a terrible senseless tragedy.

I was wrong. The heartache hasn’t dulled. It’s still here.

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